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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23141293">all i ever wanted was the world</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/rosegoldblood/pseuds/rosegoldblood'>rosegoldblood</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, F/F, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Pining, Romance</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-03-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 09:22:08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,449</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23141293</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/rosegoldblood/pseuds/rosegoldblood</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>monsters aren't born, they're made; and sometimes, they're only monsters to themselves.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Dorothea Arnault/Edelgard von Hresvelg, Edelgard von Hresvelg/My Unit | Byleth</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>49</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>all i ever wanted was the world</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>edelgard has two hands: the fic</p><p>also the song 'primadonna' by marina fits edie and doro so well? ugh. they're all queens. that includes marina. also oof i just realised both of my fire emblem 3h fics have the word 'world' at the end of their titles - oops? i'll rectify that by writing another one, so stick around!</p><p>- mel x</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><em>dimitri, </em>edelgard thought, <em>isn</em><em>'t the only person haunted by the past.</em></p><p> </p><p>it was, perhaps, a little less obvious. but you could see it: the hesitation in her decisive, condemning words, that could lay waste to a city in a second; the fear in her lilac eyes; the way her hands trembled when she swung her axe once more, witnessed the loss of a life at her very own hands. yes; perhaps she was just as much as a monster as the tempest king himself.</p><p> </p><p>"edie," a voice rang out from behind her, "scowling again... what have i told you about ruining your pretty face?"</p><p> </p><p>the scowl broke, and edelgard laughed to herself. "i can't say i'm exactly unhappy to see you, dorothea," she said, letting a little affection creep into her voice. "i was just... thinking."</p><p> </p><p>"that's what you always do." dorothea joined edelgard at the balcony, overlooking the monastery. it was, in some ways, <em>satisfying, </em>to be alone together in a place that had once been exclusive to the archbishop. "i'd love to distract you sometime."</p><p> </p><p>edelgard scoffed. "huh! distract me from thinking? unlikely." her voice softened. "there are always things to mull over."</p><p> </p><p>"don't you tell me. still, it's important to take a break sometimes." dorothea's green eyes twinkled with concern under the light of the setting sun. it truly was beautiful - painting the sky pink and reddish-grey. edelgard couldn't help but think that it looked like a scene from one of dorothea's opera plays, one about love and romance, kisses and devotion through the ever-changing world...</p><p> </p><p>"i'd like to take a break. all the time... but we're at war."</p><p> </p><p>"how cruel of you to remind me." edelgard opened her mouth to apologise, but dorothea waved her away. "it's alright. i should be the one toughening up. believe me when i say i think it's better this way, edie." her fingers went down to intertwine themselves through edelgard's own. "and i won't run... no matter how depressing everything may get."</p><p> </p><p>despite every ounce of common sense she had, edelgard lifted dorothea's hand up to kiss her hand. it was a rare sight to see dorothea flustered, but it wasn't an unpleasant one. "i am glad for that, dorothea. although, perhaps only the goddess knows if i'm deserving of you and your love."</p><p> </p><p>dorothea smiled, cheeks red, happiest edelgard had ever seen her since the war begun. "of course you are. that'll never change."</p><p> </p><p>×</p><p> </p><p>it was just like always - they cry out for help, for light, for salvation from whatever goddess watches from above. her father's weak face and his hands shaking as he tried to comfort her - tried to comfort them among the torture and the pain. and for what, nothing? why were they doing this? was there anything she could have -</p><p> </p><p>"edelgard."</p><p> </p><p>she jerked awake. her room was dark, and she hurriedly tucked her drawn portrait of the professor in one of her drawers before she went to open the door, heart beating like a drum in her ribcage, blood running cold through her veins. "professor," she breathed out, carefully, softly, not wanting to reawaken the screaming voices in her head, "why... are you awake?"</p><p> </p><p>as was expected of the professor, she ignored the question. "was that you, edelgard?"</p><p> </p><p>"me...?" confusion clouded her mind before it cleared, realising she must have been talking in her sleep <em>again, </em>as a result of her nightmare. "yes, i suppose it was. i am truly sorry, professor, for waking you up."</p><p> </p><p>the professor shook her head, face blank as always. "don't apologise," was all she said. byleth was rarely wordy, so it was most often up to edelgard to carry their conversation. and how she wished she was better at it: their talks always seemed to end too soon, no doubt due to her poor social skills. she couldn't help it. she was awkward around the professor - flustered whenever she looked into her eyes as green as the leaves in spring time.</p><p> </p><p>"yes, but i ought to control myself. it would do no good to me or others to be so restless and disturbed at night." edelgard brushed her wily hair out of her face. "i was experiencing bad dreams again."</p><p> </p><p>"what were they of?"</p><p> </p><p>the way the professor talked was as if she wasn't talking at all. it seemed ridiculous to edelgard - she could hear her clearly after all - but her stare and silence was so eerie and unblinking, voice washed away in the river of time that the emperor found it much harder than it should be to recall her voice or her words.</p><p> </p><p>but as long as byleth was here and alive and existing in front of her, she could remember. maybe that was why edelgard could never get enough of her teacher. maybe that was why none of their time together ever was enough.</p><p> </p><p>edelgard sighed. "it was as usual. my siblings crying for help, of course. begging for mercy. hate for<em> me</em> for being the only one left alive, despite the cost." she ran her hands up her silk gloves. "i hope they think i'm doing the right thing. do you think i'm doing the right thing, professor?"</p><p> </p><p>the professor bowed her head just slightly. "of course," she said smoothly, without hesitation or reluctance in her voice. more belief in edelgard's world than edelgard had herself.</p><p> </p><p>"i believe that too, professor. however, sometimes i do wonder... if i am just as much of a monster as king dimitri is." edelgard looked up at the bare ceiling, recalling the pained cries of her brothers and sisters. "i hope they are looking down on me with pride, and not with anger or sorrow."</p><p> </p><p>byleth smiled softly. edelgard might have been dreaming, too caught up in her fantastical wonderland, but she spotted a blink of love in the professor's eyes as she took edelgard's hand, slipping the glove off as she brushed her silver hair away from her violet eyes. "of course they are, edelgard."</p><p> </p><p>edelgard's throat was dry, but it didn't seem to matter compared to the tears stinging in her eyes and the joy overflowing through her that spilled over the edges of her soul. "i am glad i have you by my side." her voice was thick with emotion. "thank you... my teacher."</p><p> </p><p>×</p><p> </p><p>"edie... wake up, edie."</p><p> </p><p>light shone on her face, and edelgard blinked in surprise. dorothea's familiar face hovered over hers, and she broke into a smile and wrapped her arms around the emperor. "oh, good, you're awake," she said conversationally, as if she were not squeezing the breath out of her.</p><p> </p><p>"oof," was all edelgard said.</p><p> </p><p>the professor was sitting in a chair beside her - bed? oh, yes, edelgard remembered now. she was in the infirmary. how she had gotten there was unknown. she remembered the tailtean plains - the wail of demonic beasts, and getting hit so hard it knocked the breath out of her, blinking in and out of consciousness as manuela and marianne struggled to get her safely to the sidelines. she had fallen. she had failed.</p><p> </p><p>"the battle was a success," byleth informed her evenly, contradicting her own thoughts. the professor told edelgard of everything that had happened after her retreat. ferdinand had struck down one of the enemy commanders, and against all odds, bernadetta had been the one to kill dimitri with her brave bow.</p><p> </p><p>"we did it! we've won. well, almost. but i'd say the war is as good as over, huh?" dorothea winked and sat down on the plush white sheets, against edelgard's legs. "we'll be able to see it through, edelgard... the dawn of a new fodlan. of a <em>better </em>fodlan. for all of us."</p><p> </p><p>edelgard sighed. "i cannot help but feel that maybe..."</p><p> </p><p>"don't doubt yourself," the professor interrupted, "that is the road to defeat, edelgard."</p><p> </p><p>"she's right. you inspire us, edie. you inspire all of us. in fact, i'm almost jealous of you." dorothea laughed, and the unfiltered sincerity on her face made edelgard want to cry. "you alone have made all your dreams come true. you tried until you succeeded and i think -" dorothea grabbed edelgard's hand and smiled, "- that's all any of us can do, no?"</p><p> </p><p>"you're right, dorothea." edelgard felt tired and warm as the sun shone through the window. "but you're wrong about one thing." the professor smiled. "i wasn't alone."</p><p> </p><p>"oh, edie..." dorothea lunged with intent, once again strangling edelgard with a suffocating hug. the professor kissed edelgard's head. "you're right. we've started this war together -"</p><p> </p><p>the professor drew away and grinned. "and we'll finish it together."</p><p> </p><p>×</p><p> </p><p>days later, the war had been won. edelgard never truly believed in fairytales, but maybe she could.</p><p> </p><p>maybe she could.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p>
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